Losing, or How the World Continues
by SoulTears
Summary: Since anything i say here might give away plot, i'll just say this: The interactions between people, friends, lovers, and soldiers are more similar than anyone imagines.
1. Prologue

**A/N**: hey fanfiction afficionados! ST here with a new fic for you to sink your teeth into. I've always wanted to do an Eva fic, but it took awhile before any ideas good enough to write down came to mind. Anyway, I'm gonna let you get to it then, since very few readers actually glance at this anyway...

**Disclaimer**: NGE does not belong to me, to me, to me! Because of this i cannot charge a fee, so you get to read this for free! Whee!

**The Dramatic Opening to An Ordinary Day**

To the casual observer he seemed like nothing but a young man walking down the trail with the water for his cabin. 'He could be a hermit,' one would think. 'Or perhaps an old woman's son.' These would all be valid theories for the casual observer, if only the forest where this teenager walked slowly, shoulders squared, eyes forward, and his black gi flowing loosely in the breeze, were not hidden from the world by the remains of a blasted mountain. In fact, his appearance of calm is only a façade as the loose garment hid the tense muscles and his eyes scanned the trees for his enemy. His walk continued uninterrupted for two minutes before he dropped the buckets of water he had been carrying in order to stop the foot barreling toward his face. The attacker recovered quickly and shot a fist with lightning speed. The fighters danced among the trees, their punches and kicks dodged or blocked for almost five minutes before separating. The opponent was revealed to be a man clearly older than his target. Wrapped in the same black gi as the teen, it accentuated the wrinkles branched from crimson-colored eyes and stopped just short of a gray but strong hairline. Pulled into a strict ponytail, it fit perfectly with the stern rocklike face of its owner. His lips were pressed so tightly together they seemed to vanish into the creases on his face. Neither one of their breathing had changed.

"You've gotten better," said the sterner of the two with a voice full of wisdom and arrogance.

"Glad to hear it," came the answer. In an effort to dispel any more conversation he took the initiative. There was the barest hint of a smirk before the older man brought his arm up to deflect the incoming flesh missile. Another round of punches and kicks made the air howl for more than ten minutes before they broke apart. The younger man, though his eyes burned with determination, stood up against a tree to hide his growing fatigue. As for the elder, he smirked knowingly and reached for one of the buckets of water that had safely been pushed away from the brawl.

It was blatantly clear to the teenager that he was being offered a reprieve and while it angered him, he was not so foolish as to waste it. Breathing deeply and shaking the weariness from his limbs, he waited for the next round. The sensei (for master he was, any observer idiotic enough to stick around could see that) took his time draining the pail of its contents. The last drop of water's impact on his tongue served as the starting bell as the sensei threw the empty container at the rejuvenated teen. Knocking the distraction aside, the battle resumed with the same ferocity as before. The only difference in this encounter was the state of the young man. Lethargy from exhaustion had begun to settle in, causing his moves to slow until finally a punch penetrated his defenses and made to tap his spine from the front. With the wind literally punched out of his lungs, he could do nothing but feel the pain as the tables turned against him and he is slammed into the trunk of a tree. He could almost feel his body bruising and blood from the cuts on his face coagulating, since it was the only thing other than the furnace of stinging bees that he _could_ feel. Now the elder laughed, a loud cackle that did nothing for the smoldering anger in the eyes of the defeated. Almost like he could sense the daggers aimed at him, the man only cackled louder.

"There is no use in being angry at your defeat, since there's nothing you can do about it. However, you have improved," stated the victor with no small amount of disbelief in his voice. The teen spat to the side to get the blood out of his mouth.

"Not like I had any choice in that, since you attack me EVERY FUCKING DAY," he shouted as he stood on his own, albeit shakily. "Honestly, don't you have anything better to do? Now I have to make _another_ bucket and fill it with water _again_."

"Well if all this is so predictable, then does that mean your defeat every time is inevitable as well?" There was even laughter in his tone as he turned and walked down the path. The teen merely scowled before picking up the remaining buckets. He was about to make his way back to the river when he heard his teacher's voice behind him. "Come back to the hut, the water can wait. There is something we must discuss." Frowning slightly at those words, he shook his head to clear away the memories it dredged up and followed his sensei.

That night the moon shone full and bright over the valley through the jagged peaks of the mountains. Its beams lighted the three paths that cut through the dense trees like monstrous veins: one leading to a powerful river cutting through the mountain, another to a circular-shaped clearing pounded down by frequent lessons and training sessions, and the third a straight shot to the only entrance and exit into the clearing, with a simple hut at the convergence of the three. It had been four years since anyone had walked the third path, therefore the imprints the teenager's sandals made on the dirt would undoubtedly last a while. His hands were clenched to hold the satchel of his provisions and to restrain his emotions. It hadn't been long enough since this young man had even seen this trail, so great control was needed. _'I mustn't cry, I mustn't cry, I mustn't cry,'_ were his only thoughts as the cave out of the valley that had been his sanctuary loomed overhead. Just as the light of the moon was replaced with the flames of the makeshift torch he had made from the remains of the last bucket, his face and mind were set, even as his hands still clenched.

'I won't.'

From the door of the hut he stood watching his student walk away. Enzeru Musashi knew fully the turmoil that would result from his decision, but he knew that the time had come. There was nothing else he could teach, not for lack of knowledge but because he couldn't. All that remained must be learned from experience. 'Besides,' he thought grimly, 'he knew he couldn't stay here forever from the moment he collapsed on the dirt floor all those years ago.' Once the silhouette had finally blended into the background, he turned around to continue his existence. 'Best of luck to you, son of Ikari, for the world you now enter is not the world you left behind.' A smile broke through the wrinkles of his face.

"But it's the only one left, so you'll just have to deal with it."

* * *

There is a plot, promise, this is just the prologue. Besides, it's no fun to reveal everything so early right? Also, fair warning, this fic might run for awhile, and the updates won't be quick i do have a life...(no i dont), but i'll try to make it worth your wait. Chapter one is almost done. until then, Ja ne 


	2. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Now when I say that it's mine, what I mean is the story, not Evangelion or anything like that. 'Cause that would just be crazy right? Yeah... crazy...

**A/N:** So like, I'm back! Excuse the long abscence and for those who didn't notice and are actually reading this instead of hitting the chapter head-on, I was gone a long time. I'm back now though, we'll see how long I last with this muse... read on, my compadres, read on!

**In Which a Great Scream Splits the Sky and the Whole World Goes to Hell**

Third Impact sucked- a statement that, unsurprisingly, the entire human population readily agreed on- and no one knew that fact better than the inhabitants of the Geofront as they go about their business. Some tweaked valves, others checked computer screens, and a select few wore sunglasses and did nothing at all, each of them doing their part to ensure the vitality of NERV Headquarters. On the control deck in Central Dogma the activity is more subdued; an unintentional mockery of the past, yet it contained all the energy once found at conference tables of every major corporate building in the old world as they jetted along to make their billions. The crew sat at their terminals as the training run reached the first signs of activity, the four operational Evangelions making their appearances onscreen. The reliability of the following events brought a smile to the bridge bunnies and a sigh from the General leisurely standing behind them.

First up are the sopranos.

"I can't believe I'm actually sitting in this damn plug when I could be doing more important things," screeched the voice of Asuka Langley Sohryu, her scowl clearly visible on the screen. Nigouki seemed to mirror her pose on the virtual environment meant to look like Tokyo-3, arms crossed and face, oddly enough, elongated in a gruesome parody of a huff.

Next enter the basses, their voices rich and flowing.

"Don't worry about it As-chan. It shouldn't be long now." The voice from Yongouki was full to the brim with placation, even as he held the same scowl inside his entry plug. Mr. Kokuzoku of Downey, California stared at the little screen of the irate redhead. If possible, her face flushed redder with rage at the voice.

"Damn it Marcus, I told you not to call me that goddamn nickname! What the hell do I have to do in order to get it through that thick-headed skull of yours," came the retort.

"Now, now, ladies. This is no time to be having your little fights." This statement shot from the entry plug of Sangouki with the accuracy of a sniper. Touji sat back in his own seat, his finger tapping on the steel of his right leg. Of course his comment had the opposite effect, raising the ire exponentially. Still, one final shot left the smoking muzzle before the link to the black Eva closed. "After all, there are bedrooms for that sort of thing."

"Fuck you Suzuhara!" Ah, a duet.

At this point, the tenor makes its debut.

"Can we just settle down until the training is over? Please?" Far from being soothing, the soft voice of Mayumi Yamagishi disguised a tangible amount of contempt as it echoed from within Gogouki.

The chorus is complete. Now the critics speak.

"Knock it off," said General Katsuragi, her face etched into a grimace and teeth gnashed. "Let's get this training session over with. The faster this gets done, the closer I am to being in bed." The performance ends immediately. Without another word the four pilots engage the giant humanoid machines created for their exercise. It's wartime, after all, and soldiers need to be at their peak always. "I swear, these kids get more and more immature as they get older! We never had this much trouble with you," she said to the stoic figure on her right. Said person smiled faintly, her red eyes never leaving the screen in front of her.

"To be fair, I wasn't exactly what could be considered alive back then," she said, the smile fading back into the stone gaze she saved for the workplace.

"You know, I could've gone another two days without being reminded, Captain," the older woman said, the title coming out sharp and more than a little sad.

"If only it were that easy General." Nothing more was said for the rest of the session.

#&#

He struggled to keep the sun out of his eyes as a steady gait brought his sweating, tired body to the quiet little port town of Hakodate. Once a sprawling metropolis, all the catastrophic events, in reality and otherwise, have reduced it to just a port with houses grouped in tight to the shore. Of course, it couldn't in good conscience be called a port after Second Impact since the explosions and geologic aftermath caused the land around the island to shift and rise, effectively creating a road straight to the main island of Japan and cutting off any profitable access to the sea. So, for argument's sake, the locals refer to it simply as "home." It was this road the teen had taken in that nightmarish haze four years ago, the screams of the assimilated echoing in his ears, his own grief over the loss of his sanity louder than the rest. Now he could see just how treacherous the road was, a veritable granite serpent slinking, widening, and narrowing for miles with the rest of Japan just on the horizon, and it made him wonder how cursed he must have been to have crossed such an obstacle unscathed. 'I'm almost there,' he thought, a sharp smile growing on his face. 'Still not sure if that's a good thing or not.' Patting his shoulders in an effort to lessen the fatigue in them, the young man made his way to a nearby inn. Once inside, he quickly paid the innkeeper and went to his room, eyes to the floor and mouth shut. His dislike of attention was as strong now as it was back in the days he wandered the streets of Tokyo-3 and, seeing as his face could be found in the memory of every single human on the planet, he had to be extra cautious. This fun little fact had been revealed to him not a week after leaving the valley he had spent the past four years in. He had been walking silently directly through a village, using the main road to make his way. Depression had long since given way to curiosity as he tried to see what had changed over the years. While he was staring into the window of a shop, he felt a hand fall heavily on his shoulder. He stiffened for half a second before turning to see who requested his attention. He came face to face with a hulking man in his late thirties. A farmer, if the dark tan and calloused hands were any indication. Looking right into his green eyes, Shinji was blasted with a sudden image of this same man sprawled on a wooden floor, those same orbs now looking at the barrel of a shotgun, the wall to his side dripping blood. As fast as the image had entered it left, leaving the young man slightly disoriented. A jostle from the hand that had not left his shoulder brought him back to the issue at hand.

"Who are you," the man asked, and the moment his mouth opened Shinji could smell the alcohol. "I asked you a question!" The next jostle was harder and clearly menacing, a confused look in his eyes. "I've seen you before, haven't I?" By this time other villagers had appeared to investigate the racket.

"Ah shit, Toshi's at it again."

"I keep telling him to stop, but he just won't listen."

"Who cares about Toshi? Who's the kid," asked a woman near the front of the growing crowd. At the mention of this the crowd shifted its gaze to Shinji, whom still had not moved from the drunken farmer's grip. The moment his eyes met those of the crowd images flooded his mind. Faces frozen in ecstasy, others in fear, some with their families, others with animals, mountain summits, the ocean, black moon, white giant, on and on… his head throbbed from all the information. The threat of overload finally spurned him to action. Throwing the arm off, he took a step back, the dull throb of the images fading steadily. The crowd seemed affected by whatever had occurred as well, taking a step forward to close the space. Their voices now mirrored the farmer's, the volume rising in panic as they realized they had all seen the same thing – an enormous purple beast suspended in the sky, eight glowing wings shining on its back a sharp contrast to the massive black orb behind it, arms outstretched as if it meant to devour the world itself. The second and final image was of a young boy in a white polo shirt and black pants. His mouth was opened in a scream, eyes wide-open as if he saw something no one else did, tears streaming down his cheeks. That face now seemed to stare back at them as his eyes flickered back and forth around them. Before the crowd could step any closer Shinji leapt forward and body slammed a man in the front, using his body to create an opening in the mass of villagers. Wasting no time he got to his feet and was gone, clearing three blocks before they could react.

Once he was sure he had made it out of the village limits the young man slowed to a stop, his heart beating furiously to keep his blood pumping. Deciding that sitting was preferable, he plopped against a tree and took deep breaths. While calming his racing heart, his mind went to work trying to figure out whatever had just happened. Despite what his records showed in the now extinct junior high he used to attend, Shinji was actually very intelligent. His mother was a genius, after all, and his father, while not up to par with the late Ikari, was just as cunning. Once his heart had ceased racing, he began to see a recurring pattern to the images, and what they could mean. Smiling sadly at the conclusion drawn, he pushed off of the tree and stood. 'It must be punishment,' he thought as he resumed his journey to the source of his pain.

After all, you can't be the screen without everyone leaving a bit of something behind.

#&#

'Ugh, it's mornings like these that make me wish I had a Yebisu nearby,' thought the proud Katsuragi in the midst of a frustrated shriek from the hallway. 'For the love of all things holy, it's July! Why the fuck is she up so early?' The red lights of the clock behind her twinkled as they marked off a quarter past two in the afternoon. Early indeed.

"God damn it all Wondergirl! How many times have I told you to put some FUCKING CLOTHES ON WHEN YOU'RE AROUND ME!" Another groan from the General struggling to shake her grogginess filled the silence in which Rei no doubt stared with her patented "doll-eyes" at the red-haired roommate. Then…

"Why?" Ah yes, another tried-and-true technique executed from Captain Ayanami. This time Misato felt a giggle bubble in her throat as she vividly imagined the look on Asuka's face at such a response. That, along with the confused and tongue-tied sounds she could hear from the hallway summoned her laugh easily. A loud exhalation of air and barely audible "Fuck you both" signaled the end of the skirmish, the loud slam of the front door following up smoothly. Taking this as her cue, Misato wormed out of the disaster of a bed and made her way to the kitchen. There she found her fellow Operations Director standing in front of the stove, a pot boiling. Never batting an eye at her total nudity, she reached into the cupboard for her tea. In what has since become routine, Misato pulled out a bag and dropped it right on the steaming cup Rei placed on the counter. "What are your plans for today, General," the ex-pilot asked, her voice fitting the silence perfectly. There was silence before the older woman plastered a smile on her face and responded.

"I've got a date!" Rei quirked an eyebrow, turning her face slightly to put the older woman's face in view. Misato lasted a full minute under that stare before breaking down. "Alright fine, it's a double shift at NERV! Jeez, can't even let a girl have her fantasies in peace…." This time the blue-haired beauty smiled, a small movement of her face.

"Pretending that work is pleasure will not make it any more bearable, General."

"Makes me feel better about it," shot back Misato. She of course said nothing of her own little secret within the Geofront, knowing that should the young Captain or, heaven forbid, Asuka found out that she'd never hear the end of it.

Within Central Dogma, Hyuga Makoto felt a shiver run down his spine. Looking tentatively from left to right and seeing nothing he returned to work, sparing a passing glance at the picture next to the keyboard with a smile.

#&#

A crossroads. He knew that once he took the next step there would be no turning back. Already two months had passed since he had left the valley sanctuary, and Shinji knew that there wasn't any point in procrastinating any longer. Still, he didn't just want to show up in Tokyo-3 without a plan. He had managed to escape too much attention by sticking to small towns and villages, but the hood of his jacket wasn't going to cut it in this place, so he set about looking for a disguise at the specialty store near the rest stop. He knew from eavesdropping through the conversations of strangers that since Third Impact many nations had merged ever closer, and one of the smaller perks of this union was that all holidays were now celebrated in every country. This allowed for increased economic opportunities. In other words, it brought in money and gave people more reason to celebrate than before. Ergo, Shinji rifled through the racks of an extensive costume shop in the middle of August. In no particular hurry, and eager to find something original and completely alien to him, he wandered from row to row. Then, as if divinely directed, Shinji made his way toward the back of the store and found what he wanted. Feeling his mouth split open in what Musashi-shishou had once told him was a sadistic grin, he pulled the costume from its perch and studied it intently. It was perfect, and so far removed from him that not a single soul would recognize him. Decision made, Shinji grabbed a few extra props he would need and purchased it. Once everything was set into place he entered the train bound for Tokyo-3, his previous nervousness gone as he faced the future with hands clasped and determination on his face. A woman's voice over the intercom seemed much too loud in the relatively empty train car.

"Tokyo-3, twenty minutes. Thank you for using our train company. Have a nice day!"

#&#

Meanwhile, within the city of his destination five cell phones rang at the same time. Answered and orders relayed, the teenagers made their way to one of the entrances to Nerv. The flashing sirens did not affect them as they donned their plug suits and rushed to the command deck. When they were all assembled, Misato stepped forth.

"It would seem that a garrison of renegade Lotus members has attacked Neo Beijing and the Chinese have called for aid. Nerv will answer the call and eliminate the threat to its ally. Any questions?" Four stayed silent while a certain redhead took a breath.

"Yeah! Why have you called all of us in if its just one garrison? I could take them down all on my own!" Sighing heavily at her arrogance, the general spoke again.

"Because, Ms. One-Woman-Army, this particular group has seven J.A. bots at their disposal, with two leading the charge." At this the others finally decided to speak.

"Seven?"

"How the hell are they making so many?"

"Stupid Germans…"

"SAY WHAT?"

"I meant Americans…"

"You better not have!"

"Enough!" Misato took charge as she saw Touji and Marcus take a stance and Asuka looking like she was trying to tear the offender's head off with willpower alone. Mana seemed unable to maintain her composure and broke into fits of laughter while Mayumi, bless her heart, stood in the same exact spot as before, her eyes diligently on the bridge above them. "Save all of that for the field! We don't have any time to waste! Get to your units and prepare for take-off NOW!"

"Aye ma'am!" The silence following their departure made her ears ring. 'Damn brats.' Of course, even she couldn't contain the frustration every time she beheld those damn things hulking about in a city, their monstrous and blind steps destroying many innocent lives. More than once she had cursed the integration of cultures post-Impact. Yes, she knew it meant a global feeling of unity, but the backlash lay in the requirement of sharing all secrets, be they civilian or military, with the other countries of the world. Because of this, the specs for a synthetic Super Solenoid engine were now common knowledge, the secret sacrificed to mask all of the others that NERV protected. With other countries scrambling to catch up to Japan, the scientists and technicians of the then-bankrupt Jet Alone Corporation found new life as they were bombarded with orders for their robots after NERV flatly refused to build any more Evangelions. Drawing on the potential of S2 and all the scrap metal to be found from wrecked cities both underwater and above, they had found a means to spit in the face of NERV for the embarrassment of their prototype run. Of course, it was only a matter of time before global unity broke down and wars were waged, only this time around many of the developed countries, large corporations, even wealthy mercenary guilds could now put forth their very own 'Eva' squads to literally stomp down any invading force or resistance, not caring for a second the lives of the people they were trying to take control of.

It was one of these merc groups, the Black Lotus, which had decided they wished to attack the city of Neo Beijing and turn a profit from the looting and bribery. 'Fucking bandits, that's all they are,' Misato thought angrily as she saw the devastation the robots were creating. NERV, having since become an entity controlled exclusively by the UN, found itself again assuming the role of 'savior' as they were constantly being ordered to suppress a rebellion or assist an army that was faced with Jet Alone bots. Misato grimaced as the deafening sound of five massive carriers carrying her pilots reached her ears, but it served to remind her that she had her own role to fill in the upcoming production. Turning to face the wall-sized screen to study the map of Beijing and the numerous icons moving around, she spoke.

"All right, here's how this is going to go. Send Kirishima in first, followed by Sohryu. Have the other three carriers ascend and conceal themselves among the clouds. They will await my signal while Nigouki engages the Jet Alone robots." The members of the bridge voiced their understanding and relayed all the necessary information. General Katsuragi watched the screen grimly, feeling Captain Ayanami's silent entrance and gesturing a greeting. Rei nodded and took her place at the senior officer's side.

Let the opera begin.

#&#

"We have now arrived at the Tokyo-3 downtown station. Please remain seated until the train has come to a complete stop… Thank you once again and enjoy your stay." Shinji adjusted himself one more time, checking his pocket for the only two things left from the past and stepped onto the streets of the city. He knew where he needed to go, he just had to find a terminal and hope that his plan would work.

#&#

Asuka smiled evilly as she received her orders. Sure she wasn't the first on the scene, but it didn't matter since she knew who would be taking the first crack at those Eva-wannabes. While the prospect of taking on seven Jet Alones on her own sent an intense thrill down her spine, she knew that probably wasn't how it was going to be. Still, two-on-one wasn't bad right? Watching the images on her screen, she waited silently for the slaughter to begin, panting with excitement.

Mana, on the other hand, was laughing. She loved being the reconnaissance (or bait, as she liked to think) of the group; it allowed her to fly however she wished. For the young redhead, there was no greater pleasure than diving from forty thousand feet into a spin and flipping off any soldiers that managed to catch an image of her. So when Captain Ayanami appeared on her screen, crimson eyes locking to hers instantly, Mana took a breath of anticipation.

"Pilot Kirishima, the operation will commence in ten seconds. Good luck, we shall await your return." Without waiting for confirmation, the image vanished and was replaced with a countdown. Mana gripped the controls of her baby tightly and let loose her warcry on all channels.

"I AM THE WIND THAT BRINGS YOUR DOOM! HELL YEAH!" The hatch opened at '0' and the Pegasus fell. Twisting her right hand, pressing the left pedal, and pushing both hands and their respective levers forward, the modified F-22 strike jet released a sonic boom as it plummetted toward the burning city. The LCL encasing her plug cushioned what would've otherwise been unimaginable pressure on her body, allowing her to easily maintain control as she made adjustments and pulled Pegasus out of its dive and into an arc close to the surface, the blast of air that followed it driving her enemies to the ground. From this vantage point she got a clear view of the gargatuan Jet Alone machines fielding missles and cannon fire like a human would a fly and relayed their coordinates to Asuka's carrier. From there she circled the city in a tight loop and found the missing five at the southeastern border of the city, using the skyscrapers to mask their presence. Her job done, she engaged her afterburners and left the danger zone. Not a moment after that the gleaming red body of Asuka's Nigouki slammed into the ground in front of the Jet Alone pair. The German's laughter could be heard on all frequencies as she beckoned the machines to her, her Eva-sized finger curling perfectly a sign of her skill. The Jet Alones seemed to hesitate for a moment before attacking. The fight, although short, was fierce. Asuka caught both strikes in her hands and used the momentum to slam the robots into the ground. A moment later she descended upon one of them and ripped its arms off. As she did this, the other beast stood and managed to catch Asuka in the chest. Sliding back from the impact, she growled low in her throat. She leapt at the machine, using the severed arms as clubs. Nigouki roared her triumph as the pair lay broken. Then she ripped the S2 engines from their chest and used her AT field to slice them in half. It was a necessary step, since the engines liked to explode after their vessel has been destroyed, so splitting the storage container from the energy converter kept it from wiping out everything within a five-mile radius.

Two down, five to go.

The Lotus commander saw the fight and demanded that all Jet Alones scramble and crush the attacker. Surely all of them would be more than a match for the lone Eva. As the machines powered toward their target, he felt assured in his victory. He always was too arrogant for his own good.

#&#

"Release the other units!"

"Aye!" The image of the other three Evas falling gracefully to the ground one by one caused an awed silence to grip the bridge for a second before they returned to their duties. Rei opened a video channel with the descending pilots.

"Break formation as soon as you land and engage the nearest Jet Alone. Destroy them and disable the S2 engines as per procedure. And Mayumi-san," the pilot's eyes widened at being addressed specifically. "Try not to be too theatrical, if you please." She barely caught the fleeting smile on the Captain's face, and she returned it just as quickly. When the technicians announced her departure, she inputted some commands and waited. There was a click and she fell through the air, her Eva's arms spread wide and body bent upwards, a gargatuan swan dive. As usual, she was last out, seeing as she was the newest of the pilots, but that only pertained to how well she could exploit the abilities of Gogouki. As the features of Neo Beijing came into focus, her white Eva curled on itself, flipping in midair before the back compartments slid open to release the large black wings encased within. From ground level soldiers and mercenaries watched the spectacle of a giant white being with wings falling to the ground, allowing for the shockwave from the impact to knock them down. Asuka grumbled at the reaction, her own memories of Gogouki's siblings not nearly so reverent. She couldn't stew for too long, for one of the Jet Alones finally reached her and the redhead turned to vent her frustration.

#&#

'So far, so good. All that's left is the clean-up,' Misato thought with a small amount of relief. She knew the skill level of her pilots was top-notch, but first and foremost they were still teenagers, so she knew feeling protective was only natural. She welcomed the nervousness as it proved she cared for them, if only to her. 'I won't make the same mistakes as before.' As she stamped down that thought, her right thigh vibrated. Reaching for the phone without taking her eyes off the screen, she answered.

"Katsuragi here."

"Do not react." While the statement hardly made any sense, she obeyed instantly. That voice… "I didn't think that old ID would still work after all this time, but I guess NERV has more important things to worry about then whether the cardkey of a fourteen-year-old boy still worked or not." She couldn't breathe, why couldn't she breathe? "Damn, looks like this stupid phone is out of battery already. It looks like we'll just have to talk in person." The call ended abruptly, and it was in that moment that Misato realized the commotion on the bridge. Fear seemed to have gripped everyone around her. Most unsettling of all was that even Rei, the stone-faced warrior that stared down Death almost daily at the age of fourteen, seemed thouroughly shaken. Before she could ask what was happening, the door behind her burst open to reveal a scared Section-Two agent.

"General, it's the Commander! I swear on all I am it's him!" The voice on the phone came into mind before logic made its stand.

"Calm down, agent. What about the commander? Does he need something," she asked placidly. 'When doesn't he,' she managed to think before stamping down the rude thought. The agent only seemed to grow more agitated.

"No, General, it's not Sokolov-sama I'm refering to. It's _him_! Supreme Commander Ikari!" As if to confirm and silence the skepticism, one of the bridge crew opened a video of the hallway connecting the locker rooms from the command deck. There, without a shred of doubt, stood the once King of NERV, it's own Devil, his glasses flashing with the light of the ceiling and right hand tucked inside his clothes. Now it was Misato's turn to react to the powerful image of a man she knew irrevocably to be dead now stopping in front of a door. The battle of Neo Beijing was forgotten, and all eyes looked onto the hallway beneath them, waiting for the inevitable hiss of the door. So intense was their concentration they missed the signal and could only deal with the man now looking up at them, his face a mask heightened by the glare of his glasses.

"IMPOSSIBLE!" The outburst broke the catatonia, allowing for everyone to briefly glance up at Sub-Commander Akagi. She stood above them with arms holding the rails of the bridge tightly, tears streaming angrily down her cheeks, her hard-earned scientist's composure long gone. "YOU'RE DEAD!" The next to react was, oddly enough, Rei.

"Show yourself. You are not Rokubungi Gendo." Misato smiled slightly at the surname, happy that Rei had taken to heart the conversation they had shared the day she moved in. Leaving the praise for later, she turned to the intruder. To her amazement, he seemed to struggle with himself, before the room was engulfed by the sound of laughter. It was deep and rolling, but the general could hear a slight undercurrent of emotion clinging to it, almost like madness. The imposter then reached for his face. With a single fluid movement he ripped the beard from his cheeks, revealing the true visage within. The glasses clattered to the floor, and the young man continued to laugh. It encompassed the silence until finally Misato had had enough.

"Stop that immediately and state your business or I'll have you detained!" The laughter died instantly and for a single moment she felt a glare of intense rage penetrate her defenses effortlessly. Before she could react the presence vanished and she was left with a young man scratching the back of his head sheepishly.

"I guess the disguise was a little much. I'm sorry for laughing." Not a second after apologizing Rei was on her feet and running to the rail. In one leap she cleared it and landed in front of the unknown teen. He seemed startled at the sudden movement and answered reflexively. "Ayanami-san?" It was then that the blue haired officer knew for sure and shocked the entire bridge once again by reaching out and embracing the intruder tightly. Her voice was soft, meant for only his ears even as the gasp punctuating her sobs could be heard clearly.

"Please call me Rei. I hate that last name," she said to him, before dissolving completely into tears. While the spectacle baffled the large majority of the bridge, Misato felt hope rise weakly in her heart, a specific shred of light that she had nurtured frantically, desperately four years ago, and as it gained intensity she knew she had to move before she too would be a crying mess. If she was going to be reduced to that, she might as well use the boy she had missed so much, the one encompassing all that was her biggest regret, as her hanging post.

#&#

Asuka sighed happily as the stench of LCL evaporated in the steam of the shower. While she enjoyed fighting in her Nigouki, the smell of blood on her skin and hair was not something she would ever get used to. Around her she could hear the other showerheads running and felt a small sense of camaraderie steal through the surface of her heart. It was nice, she grudgingly admitted, having other people around her that could relate to her. Sure they weren't her best friends, but just the fact that any one of them would endanger their lives for her as easily as wave hello in the hallway of school was comforting. 'None of them know though,' came the thought without her consent, as often ocurred in regards to the past. Shaking her head, she checked the clock on the other end of the room and groaned to see she only had a few minutes of free time left before she would have to change and report to the bridge for debriefing. Still, she wanted to get there early. When she saw the last Jet Alone fall and its core disarmed, she opened a channel and declared victory. As usual, Misato came on and answered with a cheerful "Good job!" but there was something off. Her eyes were red-rimmed; had she been crying? Her curiosity teased to life, she dressed quickly and made her way to corner the voluptious woman. Upon entering the deck she searched in vain for the general. Not one to give up so easily, Asuka scanned the upper level as well as she could from her vantage point. She could see Ayanami there, her back inches from the railing and speaking to someone. Not a thing wholly out of place were it not for the visible smile on her face. Before she could attempt to understand what was happening to the world, the door in front of her hissed open and revealed the original person she had planned to meet.

"There you are Misato. I was looking for you." Said woman raised an eyebrow at the question, feeling her warning bells go off. Falling into defense, she threw back the statement.

"Great, so was I. What say we just stay here in relative silence until the others get here?"

"No can do, General. I really need to ask you something," said Asuka, instinctively stepping in front of the door to block any escape, noting the almost imperciptible smile on the older woman's face. Trapped, Misato made one last stand.

"You know, this really isn't the place to be talking about sex, Asuka. Sound carries pretty far here," she said with a smirk as the pilot's face reddened.

"No you moron! I'm trying to be serious here! I could see there was something going on when I reported in and I just wanted to see what it was," she said, letting silence fill the space after her outburst. Misato smiled softly this time. Despite Asuka's residual spite and caustic remarks that she couldn't seem to grow out of, Misato knew the teen did care for her. This was proof. Asuka, for her part, watched the smile from before widen considerably.

"There's absolutely nothing wrong, Asuka. In fact, I think everything is going to start looking up from now on." The redhead could pry no more out of the woman on account of the door announcing the arrival of the other pilots. Pouncing on the opportunity, Misato faced her children. "Well done on the sortie, pilots. The UN sends their congratulations and gratitude, yadda yadda. Anyway, let's all go out for ramen!"

"Yay," they all said at the same time, the shock of synchronization outdone only by the sheer lack of enthusiasm. Misato felt her ire rise at their antics.

"You should be grateful. The last time I took you bottomless pits out you nearly ate me out of house and home," she said, before an evil smirk took up residence on her face. "If Touji-kun and Marcus-chan insist on coming with us, then that's the best I can do. Still… I haven't had pasta in a _long_ time." The girls all looked at each other, reached a silent agreement, and turned their gazes to the only males among them. Said males tried valiantly to ignore the looks, but in the end…

"You know what? I think I'm just gonna go out with Hikari tonight," said Touji, using his girlfriend as an effective excuse to bow out gracefully, leaving the California native to fend for himself. Marcus killed the former athlete painfully and slowly in his mind before turning to his own girlfriend. She raised her eyebrow at him, silently inviting the attempt.

"You wouldn't send me away, right?" Smiling softly at the boy, she gave her response.

"I'll see you tomorrow Mar-kun." Thoroughly defeated, he huffed and left the bridge, muttering about greedy and ungrateful females. The remaining women made their way out as well, a relieved general at their helm. 'The girls don't eat _nearly_ as much as those two do.' For a moment she considered informing Rei, but a cursory glance at the bridge above showed her still talking to Shinji. The smile that emerged on Misato was brilliant, and did not go unnoticed by a certain redhead.

#&#

Just above the bridge Ayanami Rei stood in front of the newly returned Shinji. They had just begun speaking about the past when the other pilots had arrived, the exchange between guardian and redhead missed entirely. The conversation ended instantly as the teen stepped closer to get a better look. Watching the whole scene play out he felt a sense of loneliness fill him. 'It looks like they've all grown up. I wonder if any of them remember me?' He could clearly see the steel glint peeking under his pants as well as the limp in Touji's stride and felt a sharp stab of guilt.

"It is not your fault," said the Captain, seeing clearly the fleeting look of distress on his face. "He was murdered, and it was only through your actions that he received his second chance." The statement, while comforting, also served to remind him of one of the major things he had come to do.

"I want to see the Sub-Commander."

"I'm standing right here, you know," said Ritsuko, a little cross with the boy even though it was obvious he couldn't have known. "It's been four years and a lot has changed, Shinji-kun." The teen faltered a moment before his entire face hardened.

"First, _you_ are not allowed to call me that. Second, I have returned to this place to find closure and answers. Third, if, and this is only IF, I'm satisfied with what I learn I will CONSIDER returning as a pilot." Spoken with such contempt and still wearing the uniform of his father, Ritsuko could do nothing to stop her enraged reply.

"Why you rude little brat! How dare you come here after being missing all this time and presume to speak to me this way! What the hell do you think gives you the right?" She would've continued, but made the mistake of looking into his eyes. In that gaze she saw Shogouki in all her glory as she waited for Lilith, and for an eternal instant felt the anguish of her pilot and son. He, in turn, could see the smug expression of his father as Ritsuko fired the gun. He found that the sadness he should've felt did not come. In its place was rage to match the woman's own. Needless to say, Akagi Ritsuko suddenly trembled in fear under the glare of the last living Ikari, so much more terrible than the man from before, as it held true emotion in every stabbing glance.

"You selfish bitch. Of all the people and all the reasons to end his life, it turned out to be you? For what? You were jealous, JEALOUS! Damn you for taking his life, and damn you for living your own without guilt! Now you will tell me what I want to know or I'll find someone who will!" Even Rei could do nothing but stare at the one she had always known to be non-confrontational and compromising tear down the doctor. However, once she sensed victory she placed her arm on Shinji's shoulder. He jumped slightly before turning to look at her. He looked tired just then, but shook his head at her invitation to lie down. "So what's it going to be, Ritsuko?" The woman's shoulders slumped in defeat and she motioned for the door. As they exited, the scientist was struck with a thought.

'Thank God the REAL Commander isn't here. I guess all those 'vacations' he takes finally amounted to something!'

The trip to the bowels of NERV was just as he remembered. The lift that seemed to take an eternity finally released the Sub-Commander and himself onto the last floor of the complex. Rei offered to come along but Shinji declined, needing the time to himself. No words were spoken the entire time, as Ritsuko struggled to come to grips with this new variable within Tokyo-3. Shinji simply stared ahead, not sparing a glance at the door that so many years ago contained the spare bodies for the soul of Ayanami Rei. When they reached the final door in the hallway, the Sub-Commander hesitated for just a moment before pulling out her black keycard. Swiping it against the reader, she let out a sigh as the doors slid open.

"This is the room where the Dead Sea Scrolls are kept. It was with these writings that your father-"

"Refer to him like that again and I'll rip out your voicebox."

"…Gendo was able to predict all the events leading up to the Third Impact. These were given to him by SEELE, a coucil of twelve members that funded and organized The Human Instrumentality Project, for which GEHIRN and NERV were created." Shinji stood silently at the entrance for a moment before entering the darkened room. It was only when he took that first step did he realize that he had been here before. In his last excursion into this room, he had been in Shogouki with Tabris in his hands. In his last excursion, he saw the body of Lilith nailed to a giant cross. Now a different body hung from the monument. Tearing his eyes away, the young man sat at the table and perused the scrolls. Although he couldn't read it, feeling the pages with his fingers gave him a sense of satisfaction. 'Besides, I can always have them translated.' Having learned what he needed to know for now, he looked into the face of Shogouki. Devoid of it's armor, the Angelic hybrid seemingly mocked its torture with a wide smile.

"I've decided that I WILL pilot again."

* * *

So what do you think? I thought I'd introduce most of the characters while my muse and I work out how this is going to work. I'll try to post more when I have it ready.

Ja ne!


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